Alrighty, folks! So here is my update! My period started, and ended already. It wasn't very long, but it wasn't spotting. It was definitely mother nature's monthly gift! Well, I don't know if I would call it a gift this time! To be honest, I was not that shocked at all. As I stated before in one of my previous posts, you should hope for the best and expect the worst! I prepared myself for this, and I already knew that this may be a long process. I just hope not too long! I accept that all things will happen in God's timing. There's always a reason God doesn't give us what we want when we want it! Wilmer and I are still going to be trying, and we will see what will happen! I ask you all to pray that God's will would be done in our lives whether we like it or not! There is something a little more important to me than waiting for a period going on. Yesterday was the anniversary of my mother's death. I have a confession to make. Maybe it is a good confession to some, and maybe it is a bad confession to others. Every year since my mother's death, I forget the anniversary until someone posts something about it on Facebook. I know I should be a little more mindful of that! I honestly have no idea why I forget every year! I kind of get upset at myself. No, I get mad at myself. How can I forget that she died on that date? I think about her everyday, yet I still forget. I don't know if my brain tries to push back the traumatic experience or what. To be honest, though I freely talk about it, and heck...I'm even comfortable talking about it...but I really do try my hardest to not relive the moment of her death. I can talk about what happened in those moments, but I block myself from experiencing the emotions I felt. I think what emotionally scarred me the most was when blood began to come out of her nose and mouth. It was so thinned out and the doctors would put gauze in her mouth to try to slow it down. But the gauze would keep getting soaked so fast, and then the blood kept spurting on her oxygen mask. I had to keep asking the nurse to bring more gauze. It got to the point where she just dumped a bag of the gauze next to me. I didn't want to leave her side so I had to shove some of the used gauze into my pockets. Later that night when I went home, I found them and decided to keep them. I wish I knew where that gauze was. I think I left it at my father's old house, which is now inhabited by my two uncles, and going into foreclosure. I feel bad about not having it. It has so much sentimental value to me. It's very rare that I ever let the thought of my mom's death get to me, and tonight is one of those nights. My heart feels very burdened. I don't ever show my weakness to people. I have always guarded my heart. Tonight I am going to do something a little different. I have made a video of me sharing my thoughts, and about an experience I had with God while I was mourning my mother's loss. Beware, though! There are tears...and boogers!