Like most human beings, I have a bad habit of focusing on the bad things in life. I say like "human beings," because it's true! That is exactly what humans do.

Think for example, of a bad experience you had at a restaurant. Maybe your food was under-cooked, or maybe your waiter was a real jerk! You are able to recall every meticulous detail of that encounter, from the furrowed brow of the person sitting across from you, to how dirty the restrooms were. You have been to this restaurant many times, yet the one experience that stands out the most is the bad one, regardless of how many times your dining was a perfect success!

I am only 20 years old, and though I am a wife to an amazing husband, and a mother to a beautiful baby boy, I am still learning about the world. Every day I realize how evil the world is. I hear stories of the cruelest forms of child abuse, and more recently I have discovered more accusations of sexual abuse in my family.

I am very fortunate to never have had an experience with sexual abuse or rape before. I realize that now. I feel as though I have narrowly escaped. I am grateful that my son has two God-fearing parents who have shown him nothing but affection and selflessness. I look at him now, sitting there with his little laptop, pretending to be just like mommy, and I can't help but wonder why I have such a bad habit of focusing on the bad.

With wisdom comes sorrow, and ignorance is bliss. These two phrases are spot on. The more I know, the more upset I become, and once I have come to know what I know, and what to be known is known, I realize I would have been happier not to ever have known what I know or what was to be known....or what was not to be known! <----Go ahead and mull over that a bit!

When you learn something that has happened to a family member, or about something that was done against a family member, or perhaps behind their back, do you not tell them? Do you worry about them being hurt, or do you work to bring about justice, even if they do get hurt? I think not telling them would make you a coward. You know that you are going to have to explain why you never said anything, and you do not want to face it. Even with bullying, if you see someone doing something wrong, and you do not try to make things right, then you are just as wrong. The same applies to some of the horrendous family secrets we keep.

The horrendous family secret that I have learned, if I did not have God, would have definitely have been to great of a burden for me to carry. I do not know if I should go to the police, or if I should wait for the victims to come forward.

In this moment I can't help but wonder what Jesus would do. God never forces us to carry burdens, but he never takes them away either without us willing to do so. All he does is offer to carry them for us and we can either accept the offer, or refuse it. We can hold on, or let go.
That is easy to say when we carry the burden as a consequence of something we could have controlled. But what about if something happens to someone you love?

I am going to confront the father responsible for the victims and see what he is planning to do. If he does not report this to the police, I sure will. I cannot stand idly by as people I love are hurting. My heart is much too big for that.

'Til then, I am counting my blessings. I am happy to have a cute little home, and that I am full every night. I am happy to have my son and my husband to cuddle with at night.

My husband was cleaning the kitchen tonight while I did some homework. I walked into the kitchen to ask him if he could quiet down since the baby was sleeping, but as our eyes met, I forgot all about why I had even gone into the kitchen. I walked over to him and we embraced one another for a length of time. He had some ear phones in his ears, listening to music. I took one of the ear buds and placed it in my own ear. We swayed there, dancing to music audible to only us. We were living in a beautiful moment, and the whole world was unaware.

My husband and I are so deeply in love, that we can create a universe within a world. I am thankful for that. I am thankful that we don't have to have fancy cars, or go on some couple's retreat to rekindle some passion. Our passion is never lost. That is a blessing that I could never count, for it is priceless.